Satoko Fujii Tokyo Guild

When the ultranationalist Uyoku-Dantai* roar through the streets again with their gaisensha**, intimidating people, the Satoko Fujii Tokyo Guild hurries to the rescue and protects the citizens of the Tokyo metropolitan area. All in an extremely nonchalant and intelligent fashion – sometimes the Guild's three megaheroes almost seem a little aloof while dispatching the fascist mob. For instance, Ittetsu Takemura usually keeps playing drums with three extremities (it's his biggest hobby – in real life he works as a superhero bust modeller at Toy Sapiens in Shibusa), while with his left hand (capable of amazing elasticity since receiving a bite from a chameleon in childhood) he slaps the dumb Uyoku guys in their SUVs arrhythmically, ignoring the beat of their martial music – PATSCH! P-P-P-P-PATSCH! Takashi Sugawa is even more relaxed in this regard: He simply listens to his friends, eyes closed, coaxing the most incredible frequencies out of his old bass with his lightbow and converting the resulting sonic energy into minifying waves, which he uses to shrink the soldier-LARPing nationalists into tiny mouse-sized joke figures. Weird: that always happens when he plays a bass solo. Maybe because as a teenager he was once bitten by a mind-blown mouse in a Tokyo jazz club during a Peter Kowald solo – GRMPF! And while the gaisensha erupt in flames the entire time and the now rodenty right-wing activists flee into the sewer system, the humble master Satoku Fujii writes away at a speech, with her right hand, about the love of music, for only true and mature music can lead to deeper feelings and ideas, because such music can transcend nationality, gender, generations or religions. With her left hand, in parallel, she toils away at arrangements for a larger jazz ensemble (some call her "the Ellington of free jazz"). Back in the realm of the everyday, she actually works nights in a tiny online translation agency as a certified specialist for Kisaragi / Esperanto, though she's definitely under-challenged there. YAWN. Luckily, Satoku Fujii is blessed with the gift of apportation***: this means she can also have a little fun with the Uyoku on the side – why not? Life is short. So, in a nutshell for now: After the Tokyo terzet had casually liberated the Moers metropolitan area from the Freie Fraktion**** over Whitsuntide weekend, they were awarded by a great honorary citizen with the city's golden Guardian Troublemaker badge. "You came as guests and you go as samurais."

* an extreme right-wing movement in Japan

** extremely loud, black-painted loudspeaker vehicles that purposefully intimidate citizens by driving through densely populated areas blaring marches and national anthems

*** the ability to teleport objects or people through space

**** somehow something like a local successor gang to Moers' AfD faction infamous for their poor spelling skills