ARTO LINDSAY w/ Stefan Brunner

They who despise Dior must certainly remain unfazed by one such as Electronald Dump: from the depths of the universe, an iridescent chameleon rises to the surface to assert his will – SKRONK! – in the struggle against the primordial monsters of the present moment, by making use of his exceptional talents. – HÛCHE! – The age of superparfumier Bertrand-Arto de la Courte has begun, a shapeshifting creature with alterable D.N.A. that has already strolled along the banks of the Moersbach several times with dizzying elegance, in order to spray his unique scented notes throughout the city park. "I am a true connoisseur of smells," as the superparfumier admits in an interview with the trade magazine "Fleurs", conceding further: "I feel like I'm 15, totally ignorant." From his tiny bag, there escapes a hint of the unknowing scent "ambitious lovers". Capitalising on the success of the fantabulous "Lizard" series, he once travelled from one shining international metropolis to the next with "Golden Palominos". Whether on the Champs Élysées or the "Pão de Açúcar" – his unalterable credo is clear: He would like to protect the olfactory heritage of the civilized world from indignant radical stinkbombs like "Jair Bolsonaro - Eau de Parfum" or Electronald Dump's "Victory 47". "…I'm just too old for that kind of thing…" To accomplish his aim, he uses the superpower of catoptromancy*, to be able to sense from a distance when Melania, perpetually stumbling in her high-heeled shoes – CLONG! – or the – BRRR! – bulldozer populist are once again abusing their surroundings with their effluvia – EWWW! – suffocating any sort of quality of life in the process. "…how sick…" Thousand of diffusers are being shipped aboard the white aircraft carrier "Captain Niederrhein" from the connoisseur's mega-factories, who, alongside his passion for scent, has caused a stir as a punk aristocrat with a certain Tropicália touch. "...I feel totally lost…" And when millions of barrels of the finest scented fragrances – MMMMMM! – have driven the toxic admixtures from the duty-free zones of international airports, Arto will saunter alongside Gigi Hadid, Stefan Brunner and Gisele Bündchen "...just a bit boring…" casually beside the festival counter to wax philosophical with the Captain – CLINK! – over a glass of rum, about street parades, the universe and life's beauty, "…not even boring, just dull…" After the sixth glass, the Capitano will murmur, soul aflame: "Bear in mind some drink because their lives just won't go right. Some laugh because they are unable to cry. With the former, you can tell by looking, with the latter you can't."

*the ability to see distant people or places through a mirror (e.g., Madonna or Melania Trump or the girls in CBGB…)